in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
