Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
