Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
