I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
