I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
