New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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