I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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