Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
