well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
