I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
