walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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