I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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