can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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