nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
