I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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