you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
