Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
