You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
