i think my mom watched the whole time
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
