Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
