would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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