I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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