Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
