i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
