hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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