i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Be still, my beating vagina.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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