I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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