...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
