Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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