this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
