you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
