I just made out with a guy for $7.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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