Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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