so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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