it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
