Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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