Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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