so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
