Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
