have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
