Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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