I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
