don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
