So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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