Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
