Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
