ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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