first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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