Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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