New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
