"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
