never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
