Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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