I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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