he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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