do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
