Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
